why no clothes part 3

You know when the weather is so hot, 40 degrees plus, and we are laying there, ice block in hand, sweat running into our bum cracks and we think, ‘I just want to be naked right now’…yet no one seems to be? Why? Im drawing my attention for the final time to why society hasn’t accepted the idea of nudity. I have thought about this concept a lot the past few years, and as time progresses, society follows, but not with this one. Not too long ago I completed a ‘why no clothes’ part one and two. Both covering different aspects of this concept. I have previously discussed the effect nudity had on my self confidence and connection, and some of the darker experiences, thus influencing me to express myself nude. If you have not had a browse at these two posts, just scroll down and pop a peak if you’d like to know more. Since the time of writing those blogs I have deleted my Instagram account, for many reasons, (that is whole different post all together, but anywho) it seemed to be my main platform to express and share the beauty and being nude with nature. I loved my Instagram as it was a photo blog of expression and thoughts, where I was aiming and in hope that people may resonate or question certain constructs, and doing so in a creative way. I really loved the idea. Now with it gone, I don’t necessarily have a platform to share these ideas, which is a shame, because I certainly see it as a message that needs to be properly understood. Which brings me to the thought that the only reason people view nudity in such a light is because we the people, from day dot, are completely misinformed. When we go through school, we tend to learn about the human body in a very subtle, but sexual way. We learn that women can become pregnant if she has sex with a man. We as women learn how to say NO, and boys taught to treat women appropriately, GREAT. We are also taught somewhere down the line about rape culture and to always cover ourselves up to avoid any conflict. Always, always, always told to cover up, that it’s respectable, that it’s considerate, that it’s normal. This is all ingrained in us from the age of 5. Then we go through puberty, which is always an interesting time. The time in which I personally feel we attach ourselves to the idea that nudity is purely for sex, and as we grow up, this instinctual concept rarely fades away or alters, it remains and influences us for the majority of our lives, and we are NEVER taught to question or go beyond it. I’ve lost track of my complete nude journey but have gotten to the point now where I really want to do something about it. First thing, why are there very little to no public spaces which accept nudity? Before you think I’m naked doing my groceries down in woollies, or naked scooting my way to work, I actually wear clothes, 99% of the time, unfortunately. Although I understand in most public places it would be inappropriate. But if I’m going for a nude swim at a somewhat private swimming hole deep in the bush, how is this improper? In an environment of naturalism, vunrebility and openness, why can I not express myself in that same way? Humans can learn A LOT from nature. We tend to look at animals for similarities, that our ansestors were this animal, and let’s test this substance for a human on that animal, and certain behavioural traits of animals can be related to humans. All relevant, however, I believe there is a lack of appreciation of human to plant connection. Plants and nature define us. We could not be here without it. Every life form, every ecosystem relies upon nature. I don’t know if it’s just me but every time I’m within nature I feel content. I have such little worries, internal conflict, feelings of displacement. It feels right, to be there with it. The energy of nature is ridiculously powerful, so much so, that if you sit with it, you can feel it dancing on your skin. You notice that people who live closer to nature have lower rates of mental blockages, and tend to be more grounded. A lot of my advice to people when they are feeling uneasy is to connect back to nature. Now, if we are looking at nature, and the naked body, there is a resemblance. We never look at one tree and say it is more beautiful than another, we never look at one with a long branch and say it’s too long, we never look at its height and say it’s too tall, we never look at its size and says it’s too big or small, we just observe. And through observation we discover our gratitude and admiration for this vastly wild earth. When we are with nature it also brings us back to our roots. That we are not at all beings of materialism and superficiality. We are not beings of anger, hatred or greed. We are not beings of a regulated system. We are all born into this world naked. Vunerable. Natural. With no traits other than a power of love, compassion and peace. It is only through a growth in society that this essence is clouded over. This truth does not fade away, it is just lost within the chaos. Nature can help clear the fog and bring us back to our true form. NUDITY. I’m going to bring up a thought. What if somewhere down the line of learning, we were taught that there was TWO different types of nude. There’s sexually nude and vulnerably nude. Everyone knows the sexually nude. That we are indeed sexual creatures that express ourselves and understand and connect with each other through sex. It’s a wickedly powerful act, sometimes too powerful. But when used in a healthy conduct, it’s one of life’s greatest pleasures, not only because it feels good, but because it creates life. Fucking mind blowing. There’s plenty to learn about sexual nudity but from what I gather, a lot of us know it well. Not every time we get naked, there’s a link to sex, that must mean there is a different form of nudity. Vulnerably nude. I don’t know about you but I sure as hell can tell the difference when someone is just naked because they want to be, that it feels good for them, compared to when they want sex. You don’t even need the words yes or no, it’s pretty bloody obvious when someone is naked and wants sex or doesn’t. The way to pick up on this incredible tool, is to UNLEARN what you know about the nude body. When we see a naked body, the first thing we should see is the vulnerable body. Then based on our clear judgement, points of eye contact, manner, behaviour, words and whatever else, we can then change that to sexually nude if necessary. VULNERABLE SHOULD ALWAYS COME BEFORE SEXUAL. Initially viewing someone under a sexual light is not instinctual human nature, it is a learned conditioning. Therefore we have the ability to unlearn this function. I’m no expert on how to change the wiring of many people, other than better connecting to themselves to understand their truth, thus understand others with more clarity. In my previous posts on this topic I very much highlight the impact nudity has on self esteem and self love. When I do yoga, I’ll be nude, without fail. As the more time I spend in the nude the more comfortable I become with myself. The more I learn that my body is constantly in fluctuation yet is always as its suppose to be. If I’m not happy with it, I remain calm and work on what needs to be worked on, not ponder my days with ill thoughts. When I am nude in nature, it’s one of those feelings you can’t explain. Although, I’ve had a thought. You know when you’re having sex with someone, and most of the time you forget what you look like? You’re not focused on that weird freckle there, or cellulite here, or hair there, or what your moan face looks like… you just party like its 1999 with (mostly) no other thought of anything but this moment. That’s how being naked in nature feels. All worries of appearance and insecurities dissolve. All that remains is the present, and the understanding that everything is what it is. No stress, complete freedom. But again, you’ll have to experience it yourself, it’s well worth it. But wait… To get naked in nature either means being uncomfortable on a nude beach with much older strangers, or being super sneaky but still getting caught by a lovely bunch of Asian tourists. Where are all the nude spots!? Any sort of non tourist nature location should accept nudity. Wear clothes if you wish, but be comfortable and accepting of those that wish to bare it. I’m dreaming of the days where there’s entire national parks open to nudes. But don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of places you still can! If you’re wanting to be introduced into the nude lifestyle, I suggest beginning in your bedroom. Once you’ve got the feels, start looking in the mirror nude. Truly terrifying. It will be hard, for those in search of self love, but with time the false perception you’ve created in your head will transform to truth. Once you begin exploring this truth, that you are glorious and indestructible, you’ll want nothing but to be naked all the time. The only reason we have poor views on ourselves is not because we are actually these things we say we are, it is because we have all grown up in a society that forces a false delusion that we are not good enough, that we should look like this and be like that, rather than accepting ourselves and others for whoever the fuck we are. Think about nature again, imperfect in numerous ways, but unfathomably beautiful. For this post, I messaged a few people for their thoughts on nudity, to see what the mins of others may think. I asked them how often they get nude, are they confident with it, would they get naked more if they could, and do they think it should be more accepted? Most if not all people would love to see a shift in people’s minds if nudity was to be more publicly accepted, that they would all anticipate a change in perspective if it was an openness. A couple of them expressed that they don’t get nude as much as they like due to feelings of insecurities or thoughts of judgement from others. Which is a real shame. The more you get naked, the more you realise that the judgement of others is nothing but a reflection of themselves, not at al to do with you. If there was a form of education based around understanding the human body and all its forms, traits of judgement would dissolve and possibly soon diminish. Influencing us further to create a universal notion that everybody is just a body. A few more have actually adopted the nude lifestyle and explained how their confidence has sky rocketed and find their views on others more humbling. All of which remain bare whenever they can! This makes my heart smile to hear other people feeling the change of something so simple yet so empowering. The Get Naked Australia Instagram and Facebook is an amazing platform to read of people’s incredible nude journeys. So many people of extremely diverse backgrounds, all with a different story. It is a growing movement as more and more people are discovering for themselves the immense benefits. I think what we need to first realise is that we are just a person with a body, no big deal. Just a natural, normal and vulnerable human body, like the other 7 billion residing the planet. Everyone gets naked, most of us every day. We all know what the naked body looks like. We all know every one is naked under their clothes. This is not new information. We do not need to learn something new to grasp this concept, rather we need to UNLEARN and REWIRE our spirits. The human body is an art form. It is perfectly imperfect. They are vessels carrying our spirit through this journey on earth. I truly love them. Each and every one. More importantly I love my own, and am so ever grateful of its surreal efforts put in every day, for me. I thank those that view my body as it is, those that accept and respect it. We are all a work in progress, and always will be, there is no end goal, just constant progression. I hope readers can absorb this message and resonate with it.

The path of real love begins and ends with you.
It is you. It will always be just you.

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Why no “no”?

Back bloggin! I apologise to those that have read my previous posts for my extensive delay on this one. After my last post “why no worries?”, I felt content. I felt it was a nice way to end a fun year or so of articulating (venting) powerful topics/conversations/experiences I believed were worth sharing. And yet! I’ve cracked my neck and knuckles, logged back on to this page, ready to express and share the next few “why no’s”! Please excuse any errors or poor writing as ive got a few cobwebs lingering.

I have been holding my breath with the thought of this one, mainly because it’s too socially present already and may possibly turn into a rant, rather than an open discussion. Every individual in Australia is or should be aware of the recent YES/NO ballot that was posted a couple of months back, in regards to marriage equality.  This topic is sticky, as with most important and relevant things, so let me begin. Before anything I write or say, I try to assess both sides of the argument. Even if you’re strongly against a side, it’s important to first consider where that side is coming from, and hopefully form an understanding. You may and probably will still disagree, but this will help with understanding your own argument better and carry with you more composure when verbalising your thoughts and points to the opposing side. This topic has been wafting in the air for quite some time now, so I have had plenty of time to grasp an understanding of the NO side of things, as I did indeed vote yes. Time went on and on, advertisements were popping up on the radio and television about why you should say NO and that its okay to vote NO. Now I remember something back down memory lane in primary school about that it’s okay to say no, which I also remember being very important and valid. But I’m pretty sure it was regarding peer pressure or something, not the well being and equality of thousands of fellow human beings. At first, I got really upset, angry and confused. Now, I just giggle. I was taking a leisurely stroll one morning when I stumbled upon a brochure stating reasons why voting YES will negatively impact your life. I started to panic… Will voting yes impact me negatively!? Is there some gay disease these people will spread? Will children stop being born? Will men start wearing dresses and girls playing football? Will my children be exposed to two people in love? I was worried and intrigued, so I took a read. Let me bring this brochure to life for you. First claim: saying YES means saying NO to parents’ rights. A young woman my Mum knows told her she voted no… because of the children. If we legalise gay marriage, the schooling system will slightly change, teaching young students about gender fluidity and expression of love between any two individuals. How any parent sees this as stripping them of their duty needs to really look within themselves and reflect on the parent they may be or want to be. There’s plenty more rubbish being shoved down children’s throats by the education system that are A LOT more worrisome than teaching your kid something relevant and important they are going to learn about ANYWAY a little later in life. Maybe parents fear their children having a softer and more compassionate heart than them… hmmmm. Teaching this in school will lower the risk of young LGTBI people feeling excluded and bullied, lowering rates of anxiety, depression and suicide among this group. How terrible… The next point made was saying YES means saying NO to freedom of speech. This one was difficult to comprehend. The claim I found most dominant was the idea that marriage equality will end religious freedom. Now as I said before, I try to assess both sides of every argument, and with this I did reach a level of understanding. Tradition. Religion is a tradition that has been around since however long and is actually the reason some people live. People who follow a traditional religion may dedicate their entire lives to their beliefs, and not look much further past the scriptures. Australia is technically considered a Catholic country, although is home and welcome to almost all religions. No matter if you think religion is truth or bullshit, you can’t deny that arguing with tradition, is incredibly difficult and attracts conflict. As a pro marriage equality voter, and being a part of this community, I do not wish to interfere or argue with anybody’s values and beliefs, especially if it is religiously based. Purely due to conflict. This poll has already caused both parties to divide, arousing unnecessary disputes. Since the vote, there has been a strange disconnect, when the idea of marriage equality is that we are all equal, bringing us closer than ever, when it’s drawing us further apart. In saying this, without offense, religion is an ancient BELIEF. Not FACT. But what is a FACT is the amount of people within and out of the LGBTI community suffering in conjunction to this BELIEF. If God really is a man in the clouds, he’s a lot more hip than we think. A Being who created the wonders of the universe and bestowed love upon all things, I’m sure has a great resilience to change, and would want us to, too. As I’m sure he was aware that over time, His creation will alter and change accordingly. If He didn’t want the world to change, he wouldn’t of made humans, better yet, he wouldn’t of made it, at all. I also watched an interesting talk by Magda Szubanski, with a fact I was not aware of. Around 25% of marriages are performed and done under the Catholic Church. ONLY 25%! That leaves 75% of marriages performed outside the Church. That’s 3/4 of all marriages done without any religious ties. So, people have been marrying without ANY link to tradition, for years and years and years. That is a HUGE equality problem. Yes, fair enough, the Church doesn’t want two same sex people in love to marry under them, whatever, but LGBTI couples cannot even get married outside the fucking church. That is nothing at all to do with religion, but makes this a serious EQUALITY debate. Who are we to tell anybody else to do what they want in their own domain. 75% of non-religious couples still get married. What is the difference? If the argument is that marriage itself is a tradition and defined between a man and a woman, okay, but the tradition of marriage was lost moons ago. With however many marriages these days ending in divorce, how many are undertaken purely for legality reasons, or how many marriages have come out of absolute bullshit reality TV shows, where two complete strangers, desperate for “love” (one minute of fame) can get married?????? How we consider that traditional and normal is far beyond my comprehension. I’m sure there’s more reasons to yes and no but I might just wrap it up. Heaps of people are pro, heaps of people are anti, and a significantly large portion of Aussies just simply don’t give a shit. Because what does two LGBTI people getting married have anything to do with ANYONE else? The only people that will be greatly effected by the change are those within the community. What hurts me is people who vote no do not understand that their lives will not change. Your children will be fine, you still have freedom of speech, society will not fall apart, religion will still exist… Funny thing I find also is LGBTI’s are still getting married in countries where it’s legal. And still living with each other, still having children and starting families. Two same sex couples can been identified as official parents on their child’s birth certificate. LGBTI people still freely walk around holding the hands of their loved ones, showing public displays of affection. There’s even still young people in school that come out as LGBTI. It’s EVERYWHERE and EVERYBODY knows about it. Literally NOTHING is going to change. The only thing that will change is two people who love each other, as many of us love someone too, can be recognized under marriage. What we need to realise is that things are changing, regardless of our say. That’s truth. Countries around the world are changing their views and laws. Children are growing up in a society welcome to those of any sexual orientation. Older generations are becoming more accepting , even those who have been set in their ways the majority of their lives and people with religious background are welcoming this change. We have progressed so far as a society, as humans, to realise that no matter what, white or black, man or woman, able or disable, however different, we are just the same. With this simple change will come an explosion of EQUAL love. We really shouldn’t be making our way into 2018 still debating over who marries who. It’s not that hard to grasp the idea that one day, anybody will be able to marry anybody, and how great would it be to witness a shift in the world for love?

Grief is just love with nowhere to go. So if you are grieving, or experiencing any pain or foreign feeling, surrender and open yourself to love. Love is not made purely for a man and woman. Love is for everyone and everything. Love is for others, for ourselves, for plants, for ants, for books, for smells, for the sun, for the moon, for cockroaches, for brussel sprouts. Love has no limitations, no definition. It is the most powerful entity existing. Bring it to the surface. Experience it. Share it.

Love is love. Simple.

Why no worries?

“Life is it, it’s where it’s at
It’s getting skinny, getting fat
It’s falling deep into a love,
It’s getting crushed just like a bug
Life there’s no love, it’s getting beat into the ground
It’s getting lost and getting found,
To growing up and getting round
It’s feeling silence, feeling sound
It’s feeling lonely, feeling full
It’s feeling oh so beautiful!”
-Life is Hard-
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

When bad things happen in the world, it always leaves me in a very uncomfortable and helpless state. I’m sure we have all questioned our connection to the human race at some point, yet certain little things will have us saying “ah, my faith in humanity is restored”, not long before another broken string. I suppose many of us would also believe that the world is on a sort of downward spiral, and it has been for many years.
One night, about two years ago, I watched a documentary followed by an interview that would change my view on the world as it is, forever. The friend whom suggested them to me also told me that it’s okay, “there’s light at the end”. At the time, I thought, what the hell is he going on about… I finished the documentary, mind opened and blown, then about half way through the interview I paused, messaged my friend in hysterics, asking “where the fuck is this light?”. I went into work the next day depleted, and lived out the following week or two in a mystified discomfort. What on earth could I have watched? As a highly sensitive person, I tend to react to stimuli in an extravagant manner, taking me a little bit longer to process almost all information. So it may not be as depleting to others. Basically, it is what introduced me to the idea that I am just a little rusty thimble on a monopoly board that is being played by a family/ies of sociopaths… Meaning I came to learn of the ‘elites’ (a hand full of families and people), that are in control of the vast majority of the world population. Many of you reading, I’m sure, are in some knowledge of these strange lizard people. In case you are not aware, politicians the likes of D.T, do not fall under this category, but are in fact just puppets of those in higher power, and believe or not, the lesser evil. (If you’d like to know more, message me, or google).
This was also my first in depth look into the evolution of humans, where we came from, and our journey to the tipping point we rest at today. It is incredibly extraordinary information, that I am so grateful to possess. It has altered my view on many things, and if anything, contributed to the positive ideals and “fuck it” lifestyle I live by today. I was watching documentaries, one after the other, reading articles and speaking with people, so much so, that is was clouding my judgement on the rest of humanity and the wonder that is planet earth. This saw me walking down a long road of disempowerment until I did indeed find ‘the light’. At first, I attempted to live a money-less/care-free lifestyle by working for exchange in certain communities in northern NSW, which was one of the best things I’ve ever done, as I met the most unique and beautiful people who taught me that all there is to do is be KIND. This lifestyle, however great, was not sustainable for me at that stage, so I came back to Sydney to work. Anywho, for me, the light is this: If all this craziness is going on in the world, all the devastation, disappointment, catastrophe and the like, all there is left to do is LOVE. As lame as you may think it sounds, it’s pretty much the only option. Surrender yourself to love. Loving yourself, others and all around you. Come to appreciate the unfathomable phenomena that is existing on this planet. Relish in every single second, no matter if your sitting on a beach, laughing with a loved one, or crying in the shower. All belong to the human experience. It’s fucking hard, I know. Bad things will happen, and it will leave us messy and confused, and life will seem like it’s constantly digging us further and further into the ground. And there will be days, weeks or months we feel like we can’t, or that it’s too much, but we will. We should take pride and be grateful for just waking up, living, and going to bed, every day.
I’m very fond of cliches. Because ironically I don’t think they are used enough at all. Let me bring back this bad boy…. ‘YOLO’. A bit of a cringe, but let’s think about it for a second. “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE”. Regardless whether you believe our souls will reincarnate or pass on, which we can’t deny as somewhat true, this is the only life, as it is now. It’s confronting to face: every day we live is a day less to be lived. So why not make this the best and most fulfilling life we possibly can? Just say fuck it. Do what YOU want to do! Not what you have been subliminally convinced to do… The common way of life is to go to school, then a bigger school, then a bigger more expensive school, work a job that the subconscious knows we hate, living for fridays and hating mondays, purely doing things based on the desire for more digits on a screen. It’s kind of like running on a mouse wheel, it’s fun, but the same shit. Don’t get me wrong, do what you do, whatever it is, but why not love it? We all have to work. It’s damn hard to escape, and I understand money is the dominant drive, for good reason too. But why spend time, in the places we spend the majority of our life, miserable, or with no gain other than digits? We all have the potential to put our energy into a passion. Who gives a shit if you work behind a bar the rest of your life? Or in a city convenience store? Or that you’re 30 and still traveling and haven’t ‘settled down’? YOU DO YOU. Do what you LOVE. Because why the fuck not? I also understand we need these digits to do general day to day things, and it plays extremely hard to get, but let’s get crafty with the way we can get it. I will also point out that I understand this is hard, especially if you’ve been here longer. I know my father, whom I love more than every star in the sky, struggles to find peace within his workplace, and only continues to support his family, as is the same with many of the people I have met in third world countries, or just day to day. I only hope this gives these people a greater perspective and appreciation of the little things. Working to support a family is not something I have experience with and cannot express my thanks into words. I could go on about my opinion of money being the greatest and worst thing to be introduced into this world, but I will continue elsewhere. However, I hope we can see that we are all here for a great deal more, greater than great, and it’s within us all to figure out the greatness, we all so obviously possess.
Once we grasp the idea of living this life once, exponential gratitude and lust for life will follow. In the process of this, our souls begin to recognise the ever so present, yet shrunken by abandonment, quality of compassion and love. The remarkable ability to put ourselves in another’s shoes and feel WITH them, not FOR them. As well as the ability to notice the little things. Ah, the tiny little things. We are living in a time where we no longer smell the roses, and I mean that literally and otherwise. Gazing at the sunset on the bus home from work, and being present in that moment, even just for 10 seconds, will dramatically improve our day to day well being. As will watching a bug walk across a table instead of brushing it away, or watching people talk to each other without hearing the words, or looking up a tree and admiring it’s strength, gaining eye contact with a stranger, seeing two people hug, getting to the train station right before the train comes. All the tiny beautiful things. This is what we must remember, when life gets hard. Putting life into perspective is an incredibly beneficial act. I portal myself back to when I watched Cosmos for the first time. Laying in bed in complete silence and awe thinking “wow, I am nothing”. This concept is what has dramatically improved my state of being. That we are all, whether we want to accept it or not, less than a microscopic speck of dust floating aimlessly through a black pit. We come and go faster than the speed of light. Fuck. But what is found within that flash of existence, is us. The 0-100 years of growing, learning, experiencing and being on a beyond bewildering planet. You know in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, when they all walk into the magical edible room? And they are all lost for words that a place like that exists? That’s life. That’s how we should feel every single day. To feel the heat of the suns rays on our faces. The brisk cold air raising goosebumps from our skin. The Autumn breeze flowing through our hair and tickling our necks. The smell of rain gliding up our noses and into our bodies. And the unimaginable power of love reaching places within us science will never explain. The earth has been buzzing for over 4 billion years, and humans (as we know them today) have been roaming for about 200,000 years… how many people would of come and gone in that time? And we just so happen to be alive and in the same place at the same time to meet and be impacted by the people we know and love. Shit. It’s all gotta count for something, right?
We are all human in this together. Living out this complicated and strenuous, yet unparalleled existence. We all struggle and suffer, we all succeed, we all feel. However different, we are just the same. Our flash of life is too brief to cause pain to another, in any way, physically or emotionally. There’s too much cruelty already, but I know there’s so much more love, I know it’s there, because we are it. So speak to each other, up lift one another, understand.
When life gets hard, look into the distance and breathe.

Pass on the roses.

Why no phones?

We all have vices. Little impurities we were grown to believe are not good for us or others. We know what these are. Whenever I feel like my vice is getting the better of me, I visualise it, one moment in my hand, and the next, obliterated. How do I feel? If I see myself struggling, I know that perhaps this vice needs to be paid more attention to. Vices are a part of life, and can be of value and enjoyed, as long as it’s not clouding our base reality. I can tell you a vice that (I’m guessing) every single individual reading this has… a mobile phone. The cunning thing about phones is they are not seen as a vice. It is not defined as an impurity or wicked, however, evil, gets my vote for the (not so) greatest vice of all time. Smoking has resulted in multiple deaths for years ended and to come, but phones don’t kill people, do they? The birth of social media has created a ‘walking dead’ reality. Yes, technically, we are alive, our hearts are beating etc, but something around us is dying. Has anyone else been noticing? Or are we too busy looking into the object responsible? I don’t really know where to begin with this blog… there’s a lot to say, and considering adults have an average attention span of a second less than a gold fish, (lowering in conjunction with the rise of social media), or the length of a vine, you may have to try just that bit harder to bare with me this time. Well first I have to verify that there are always two sides to every story, and the other side to this one is a bright bulb in the chandelier, and I apoligise if I don’t highlight the gift that are phones, I will try to fit that in later.
Let’s presume social media ignited with Facebook. A brilliant site Mr Zuckerberg concocted for his fellow Harvard students, to stay better connected, share ideas and what have you. Soon enough millions upon millions of people were interested in this modernised MySpace, developing it into the world’s largest social network, or better yet, (one of) the world’s leading big business’. I’ll quickly drop some facts about Facebook I recently discovered through a short documentary called “Facebook-cracking the code”. Basically, Facebook, big huge company, is run by lots of money hungry westerners, with no interest other than profit. Facebook is made up of algorithms that create and manipulate what we see on our feed. For example, I joined a meditation group, soon I’ll be seeing ads for meditation courses, retreats etc. Or if you change your status to engaged, be expecting to see flower shop and wedding dress advertisements pop up all over your feed. Ever notice that happen? Wonder how all these ads relate to you in weird ways? Algorithms. Don’t worry, if you’re signed out, and search a recipe in to your search engine, Facebook will hit you up with the best cafes near you when you sign back in probably 45 seconds later. Their philosophy: More time you spend online, the more bucks in their bank account. Summed up, Facebook knows all your shit. What you say, what you follow, who your friends are, likes and dislikes, the entirety of your online existence. Facebook also owns Instagram and Whatsapp, fun fact. Mr Trump also used Facebook algorithms to manipulate what we saw about him and the other presidential candidates. He had access to what everyone was saying about him or the others, and would alter everything so that he would appear on every ones feed, regardless if they were pro him or not. You don’t have to be nice to be noticed. He (his team) basically subliminally manipulated the population into voting for him, that and all the other deceitful ways he made it there. With this, we are now aware that Facebook has the ability to change the world of politics. It has already changed the way we view news, running other news business’ to the ground, the way we view others and ourselves. If you want to know more, cause there’s a lot, watch the video. Mark Suckerberg has done a phenomenal job building this ‘social engineering network’ or ‘anti-social network’, which ever you prefer, connecting us to a now highly disconnected society.
Phones are revolutionary. They do indeed make our lives easier and greater. The use of Facebook and Instagram can be used in such positive ways. It’s nice to share things to your loved ones every now and then, or post something you feel inspired you or that may be of importance or interest to people. I read such amazing articles and blogs I never would have known about if it wasn’t for Facebook. I know what events are on, when and where, and it helps me send my message across to others, through posting this blog, or a quote or idea. I really try to utilise the network for the better, and to not let it get the better of me. But it does, and that’s just the way it works. Remember me saying before that if you have a vice, imagine your life being stripped of it. Let’s do this now. Imagine say you had 800 Instagram followers, uploaded lots of selfies, had 1,200 friends on Facebook and was “liked” a lot. Now picture you logging on to Instagram and your account has been deactivated, logging into your Facebook and you have 60 friends and very few likes on any of your posts. How are you feeling about that? A bit sad? Lost? Alone? This is our life! Sad, lost, alone. 60 friends is even a bit generous, really. Social media has taken vanity and insecurity to a whole new level. Why do I see selfies of people who upload selfies every day? I know what you look like… I saw it yesterday… and the day before that. Yes, I know it’s nice to get done up and post a nice photo cause you feel and look good! I get it. But photos every day, sexualising the body, creating an illusion that your life is perfectly dandy.
I kind of view us as robots. In the morning our fuel bar is low. Daily selfies, photos, status’ will vamp up our self reassurance, that makes us feel important for about a day. To fill in the voids within us we eat the likes we receive on each of these, making us feel loved for about a day. We don’t really care what we see of others, we mainly care about what we post and do, because that’s what sustains our robotic lives. Social media is helpful because we never have to sit alone and feel sad, overwhelmed, unloved or ugly. Likes and comments and messages keep us feeling worthy, loved, known. Social media has also influenced what we view as beautiful or acceptable. It over glamorises everything. There’s shadows over what’s real, while the fake is comfortable on it’s throne. Everyone hails the throne. Who’s higher up and who’s “living the best life”. Who’s up there? What’d that person eat? I must eat that. What’s that person wearing? I must buy that. What event is that person going to? I’ll go to that. Some of you may be thinking “I don’t do that”, which is probably a great indication you do. Celebrities are a great example. Everyone froths over their life and has this odd desire to live like them. What do you think the life of a 500k follower gram is like? Their life has to be perfect, because the whole world is watching. I suppose that’s what we do. Try to convince others, and in doing so, convince ourselves, that we are living a perfect life. That is not our life, that is our matrix, our virtual reality. I understand it’s nice to capture moments. It takes under ten seconds to get a snap shot of something you think is worth keeping. Isn’t that what photos were all about, capturing moments that you would like to revisit in the future, to bring back memories or share a story/art? Every time you pick up a phone at a gig, a sunset, the beach, anything, you escape the present moment, and take value away from what is actually there. Especially a gig, I have always thought live music and the artist deserves a lot more for their art than a phone watching instead of you. So who are we behind these screens? The other day I saw a young women and an older man bump into each other on a bus, the two of them took out their headphones and apologised, starting a conversation. I teared up. Two strangers, talking. God forbid. The connection with phones has lead to a dramatic decline in human connection. People don’t look people in the eyes because everyone is looking down. When we look down, our body creates an unapproachable insecure stance. How many of us have looked at a phone because we don’t want to feel uncomfortable? We can’t sit next to another human, the most similar thing to you, and say “Hello”. We don’t know how to communicate with strangers, yet have no problem in racing our fingers to say something on a screen. A coincidence that ADD/ADHD and anxiety has risen astronomically over the past decade? You may think there’s nothing better to do on a bus or waiting… when this is the only time we have with ourselves. Be with you. Watch people. Watch the world go by. Listen to your internal monologue running unconsciously, therefore fluidly. We get so little time to bond with ourselves in this life, and phones have stripped away all the gaps in our day where we can, and have made us fear these remarkable moments. Our transport trips, waiting and standing, even walking, just as we wake up and right as we fall asleep. The average person will spend 5 years and 4 months connected to a phone. That’s a lot of great conversation, a lot of sunsets, a lot of cooking with your mum, a lot of documentaries to be watched, a lot of dog walks, and a lot of time with the most wonderful person of all, you. What opportunity may you miss by looking down? Let’s not let the scam of being ‘better connected’, disconnect us from others and ourselves. Sit without it, just be in these blissful moments, don’t strive to be anyone you’re not, live more of this life, not the other and spread all the love,
not just likes!

Stay truly connected x

Why no vegan?

The last thing the world needs is another “ism”.

I have had a very interesting relationship with food my whole life. I grew up in a meat dominant family, learning that milk is good for my bones, meat gives me protein, and to eat my broccoli… I hated broccoli. I was lucky enough to have parents that had lived a predominantly healthy lifestyle, therefore passing the knowledge of health onto my sister and I. A lot of my early life was revolved around competitive swimming, which saw me attending nutrition seminars and training camps before the age of 15. I think it was the intensity and pressure of this way of living that drove me away, very fast. I began consuming an abundant of food of all varieties, electrifying my taste buds. Quitting swimming saw me gain well over 10 kilos, which lead me to my unhealthy relationship with exercise, binge eating and bulimia. 15 kilos lighter, I was still, if not more unhealthy than I’d ever been. Oddly enough, my whole family had lost their way with health around the same time. My Dad was frequently travelling overseas and back for work and every time he came back, he had gained weight. He was experiencing knee trouble to the point of losing ability to walk fluidly, and he was struggling with things that were once so easy. I passed on a documentary to him about juice cleansing called “Fat, sick and nearly dead”. Long story short, he watched it, fasted on fresh juice for about a month, lost a shit tonne of weight, running miles on his once unbearable knee and doing more chin ups than some men half his age. During Dad’s health journey he wondered how our whole family could benefit from a more sustainable healthy lifestyle. His idea: vegan. So on Christmas day 2013, we all sat around some buffet table, eating pork, chicken, beef, prawns, buttered bread and cakes. Boxing day menu 2013: broccoli.
For me, being vegan was easy. The fact my entire family went vegan at the same time was pretty extraordinary, I had no trouble in that regard. I understood a minor part of the ethical side to veganism. The documentary “EARTHLINGS” is by far the most brutal hour and a half you’ll see on screen. It didn’t just talk about factory farming, it went through almost every industry in which humans abuse animals for food, entertainment, products and more I never knew. I sobbed for weeks. I could not believe humans, who possess a natural instinct of love and compassion, could treat animals with such disregard and disrespect. If you have not seen this film, I do not recommend. It was enough for me to never want to contribute to these industries ever again. Then of course, you come to realise the multiple other reasons for this decision. Factory farming is a leading contributor to climate destruction. Producing obscene amounts of carbon dioxide, methane and green house gas emissions into the atmosphere annually, as well as trillions of gallons of water used for livestock annually. I didn’t really fancy second- handedly emitting mass amounts of toxic chemicals into the atmosphere or waste gallons of water a day, so, I gave up the hamburgers, it was a small price to pay. As we continue along the plant based path, things rose to the surface about deforestation, world hunger, health and mentality. Veganism has rewarded me with more energy, an altered perspective on the world around me and all in it, I feel more connected to nature, my acne disappeared, my weight inconsistency declined and I feel happier.
One of the hardest parts about being a vegan was joining an event on Facebook about a cruelty free festival and having people post photos of slaughtered animals on the event. The amount of people that couldn’t give you proper facts about the benefits of eating meat so their only response would be “haha wait while I put my cow on the BBQ so I can eat it” “brb while I eat my bacon” “shut the fuck up, vegans are the devil”. You would not believe half of the things people say about the vegan movement. Yes, we can be pushy, but is this what is deserved when you are fighting for rights of something so largely ignored and very much real? I would hear people insult this way of living, calling me dumb and stupid, without having any intellectual response about either side of the debate? It wows me how much bullying, judgement and criticism comes from what people eat.
For the past while, I have avoided the V word. I stopped going to events, following pages, watching horror movies of the industries, or listening to talks. I’d heard and seen enough. This is not why I went vegan. I do not want to be a part of any food religion. I eat what I eat because that is what works for me. In most all things, there’s two sides to every story. I’ve heard, researched and thought about the benefits of animal product consumption. That yes, plants are life, yes, meat contains key nutrients in which humans respond and thrive on well, yes, monocropping is a thing (google it) that wipes out entire ecosystems due to complacency and lack of care with farming plants/grain. I am aware and ready if in the future I feel the need to eat some fish or what have you every now and then for my health. I understand and support the food journey of individuals that have tried the vegan lifestyle and altered their diet back to a not so vegan way of living, for many ex/internal reasons. I do not want to be a part of this religion anymore. I see no need in “shoving opinions” down people’s throats, or telling everyone what I eat or don’t eat. The idea of mentally restricting myself from so many things is putting my mind and body into stress. That’s what happens when you LABEL yourself to any degree, especially when it comes to labeling restrictions on food, your body and mind will react accordingly. To add, being vegan does not mean you are healthy. In fact, (as with all people) not having full understanding of the lifestyle, people can suffer from vitamin/mineral deficiencies, weight gain/loss and diabetes. The first time I questioned the movement was when I noticed how many vegan products are just over processed with an abundant of pointless ingredients. Yes, it’s amazing that you can get ANY non-vegan food, vegan. But it’s stripped away or made incredibly difficult to be a healthy vegan, unless you dedicate your whole life to food. You consume it, and it does indeed consume you. It was also in my mind to consider the future of food. As the population grows, we will no longer have the luxury food we do now. 11 billion people (world pop. by 2030) cannot live off grass fed/factory farmed animals, many grains or monocropped food. GMO’s and insect protein will become primary food sources, as well as growing our own. It is overwhelming to fathom this fact but also incredibly important to understand now, especially for those obsessed with purely meat or plant based living. A big food change is in the works.
This may sound like a passive aggressive conversion blog, but how I will wrap it up is:
Let’s strip away the “isms”. Every body is different, therefore we all thrive in different ways. Food is our FUEL, so let’s make it that.Think logically about what you eat. Question whether you need to eat meat with every meal or dairy every day? To thrive, meat does not need to be a staple in our diets. Our primary nutrient containers are PLANTS. Organic if possible. Minimal processing. Eating meat isn’t the problem, it’s the amount/type of meat/products humans consume that is the problem. The answer isn’t veganism, the answer is MINDFULNESS. If we are mindful food consumers, our bodies will thrive. You don’t need to be a vegan to know that dairy actually depletes calcium from the bones, that a Big Mac is not a meal, and that factory farming is inhumane and environmentally destructive. Maybe it’s not about cutting it all out at once to join a food religion or fad diet and parade around your newly born base level knowledge of food… maybe it’s just about grasping the facts and altering your choice of fuel to benefit not only you, but the planet and all that resides.

Why no pill?

note: Written by my unique and incredibly intelligent sister, Cassidy.
Thanks Cass.

I have been inspired lately by my sister’s ‘why no’ blog posts and decided to write one of my own. A topic I feel is SO important and overlooked. Why no pill?

The pill is a form of oral contraception that, way back when, provided women with the incredible ability to take control of their cycles and potentially stop unwanted pregnancies. Since then it has become one of the leading forms of contraception and is often prescribed to women struggling with acne and problematic cycles.

So flashback to sixteen year old me. I had problematic skin and was newly sexually active. I was put on ‘Yaz’ because it was supposedly the best for acne. Within a few weeks my skin was completely clear and I felt safe knowing I wasn’t going to end up pregnant. In the same span of time I also found myself with crippling depression and anxiety.

I remember being on a camping trip, having spent the evening watching the sunset then crying in the bathroom because even a sight as beautiful as the sun setting left me feeling absolutely nothing. I sat in my tent and looked at the side effects on the little leaflet in my pill box. To my disbelief, depression was on the list. I was so attached to my newly perfect skin that I continued to take the pill. Time passed and I was now being pulled out of my year twelve classes to see the counsellor. I switched pills to a lower dosage and found some relief, but still struggled with anxiety and depressed feelings.

Over five years I went on and off the pill, mainly because my skin would become so bad I couldn’t stand to look in the mirror. At the beginning of 2016 and I had been off the pill for six months. I felt good. My anxiety was easing and I was finding more confidence within myself. Around the middle of the year my skin became unmanageable. The acne was bad. I was so upset with my skin and embarrassed that my new lover would think it was horrible, too. So I put myself back on the pill. Like every time before my skin cleared up, but I never would have anticipated what would happen to me on a mental and emotional level. My thoughts and emotions were irrational and unpredictable, my anxiety was severe, I gained weight and I was a completely different person. I started bleeding every time I had sex and I didn’t feel like myself anymore. People were starting to say things like ‘I think you’re more depressed than you realise’ and suggesting I speak to a professional. It was a confusing and horrible time in my life.

So fast forward six months to me now. While I wanted to share what the pill can do while you are taking it, the aftermath can be worse. I ended up with estrogen dominance, an underactive thyroid and a struggling immune system. Estrogen dominance can cause anxiety and panic attacks, weight gain, severe menstrual cramps, migraines and headaches, lowered libido, adrenal fatigue, joint and muscle pain, hair loss, depression and autoimmune disorders. It is more common than you may think that women will end up estrogen dominant and with an underactive thyroid as a result of taking the pill. The pill also messes with your gut health, there is now a scientifically proven link between your gut health and mental health. I now take liver support, probiotics and chaste tree daily to help balance my hormones and support my body. I am constantly experimenting with what works as my fatigue, muscle pain, skin and poor immunity are still an issue. The road is long and I’ve spent days researching and big dollars trying to help my body recover.

While what happened to me may not happen to every woman, it doesn’t excuse the fact that controlling your cycle with chemicals and artificial hormones is not what’s best for the body. Granted, there are women who have found great relief in taking the pill…and that’s fantastic. What can happen as a result of taking the pill is not information your doctor will hand out in a booklet for you. You have to go searching for it. Chances are you won’t like what you find.  My doctor gave me no information about side effects, nor give me any other alternative option for either acne treatment or contraception, if anything, they convinced me this was the easiest and best way to help both. If your cycle is causing you grief, please consider approaching it holistically first. If contraception is your concern, there are other options to consider and try before reaching for the pill. A fantastic book for better understanding your body and cycle is ‘Women’s Wellness Wisdom by Dr Libby Weaver.” The information in this book changed my life and I know you will find so many beautiful answers within the pages as well.

Health and happiness to all.

X

Why no clothes: pt 2

note: What I am attempting to articulate here is not the lust for pity, but the explanation of rather innocent situations that have caused me distress. Situations we do not consider valid. Situations that happen EVERY DAY to MILLIONS of individuals, women and men, that should cease to exist. I want people to feel understood if mediocre circumstances have arisen and made them uncomfortable in their lives.

I would like to thank the Get Naked Australia Community and my family for understanding and accepting the purity of being nude, for never viewing me in the way many have.

Reading back through my most recent blog, WHY NO CLOTHES, I noticed something was missing. It was easy and fulfilling to write about the yellow brick road to self love, and I didn’t feel obliged to have to write about some of the darker sides to self loathing. I feel like I can never talk about it because it isn’t valid, may be misunderstood, or mainly because, when is there an ideal moment to bring up this issue? It’s difficult to flashback to when we started to understand what sex is, I guess I’ll just say there’s a point in which we’ve all worked it out, and we know. For me, I guess I knew, but I also knew I didn’t want to. At the young age of 13, I started to experiment with cigarettes and alcohol, achieving an exhilarating high purely from the thought that I should not be doing this. The typical story of two young girls, drunk and chain-smoking winnie blues in a local park, parents asleep with the unknown knowledge back at home. A 17 year old boy would visit us from time to time, reassuring me that this is what I want to be doing, that I’m doing a great job, giggling at how drunk I was. I didn’t at all want to be doing what I was doing. Intoxicated, the pressure overruled me, and I lacked the ability to think rationally about the situation. Because I was drunk, because I was there, because I said yes, because he told me it was okay. Then it was. It wasn’t okay to for me to open up to anyone about why I cried for weeks afterwards. I was asking for it.
A few years later I experienced a more intense physical situation with someone I considered my friend. We both had a hollow day and I was invited over to console and be consoled. Before I got there, I specifically remember mentioning I will not be ‘doing anything’. Not long after I arrived, he was kissing and undressing me. I have very clear memories this time of using the word NO, yet somehow, he thought looking softly into my eyes, stopping for a second to apologise, gave the clear indication that it was okay to start again. It was playful. I’d go along with it for a bit, then say no to something, and the cycle would continue. I was manipulated and guilt tripped into doing something I did not want to do. All I wanted was a hug, literally. But I went to his house, I kissed him back, I left with a smile on my face. It wasn’t okay that I went home to cry, feeling weak and used. The Rumor mill found me and I was condemned a slut. This didn’t bother me. At least I wasn’t frigid and flat chested like I had been in the past, at least I was being noticed for something people like, right? A year or so passed, finding and loving my comfortable seat in the closet. I spent the afternoon with a very close friend. Argued on the phone with my Mum for ages, wanted him to sleep over because it was too hard for him to get home at that time. She agreed, disapprovingly. We sang and talked a lot of the night, and put on a movie to fall asleep. He asked if I wanted a massage, I accepted and he went on to take my top off to massage my back. Things began to get a little heated so I told him to stop and asked “what about your girlfriend?”, and he stopped. He stroked my back until I fell asleep. Top off and only underwear on, I woke from my shallow sleep to an odd sensation, finding his hands stroking my underwear and kissing my boobs. I shrugged it off and said I’m going to sleep now, seriously questioning whether or not I was awake or if he thought I was… I didn’t cry, but I never spoke to him again.
My love of nudity had begun! I was stripping down in any suitable situation, no matter who was around. Many of my friends understood “this is who I was” and had deep admiration for me not giving a fuck. I would softly mention that this is purely for my benefit and not theirs, hinting there is nothing sexual about nudity, just your mindset, this is what I wanted people to grasp. It would always catch people by surprise but soon enough everyone was enjoying a skinny dip with me now and then. About a year ago, on a night out, a couple of friends and I were highly intoxicated on multiple substances. This wasn’t foreign territory. I was with friends, they knew I liked being naked, and of course, there I was, nude. This time however, I do remember taking off my clothes in a sexual manner, and jumping in the pool. Towel around me, my mood was dropping and my two friends and I were sitting, cigarettes in hand, having a deep conversation. I openly expressed thanks to one for always looking me in the eyes and coming from such a considerate level of understanding. I went on to briefly explain WHY I started to do what I do. I shared with them a couple of experiences where I felt used and misunderstood, how I always say YES out of FEAR, and how I feel I have been viewed as an object from a young age. I explained how I have never had confidence to express or speak for myself. How a lot of the time I don’t agree to sex and how some men laugh it off and don’t speak to me because of it. That I understand past experiences have dramatically effected me but I don’t understand HOW because they were all my doing. Getting naked helped set free my body from any ideology or ownership, I could now use it how I’ve always wanted, not how others wanted for me. I felt incredibly exposed sharing this information. A friend went inside and the other boy, I didn’t know as well, proceeded to subtly touch and lick me in places, holding me into positions and forcefully kissing me repeatedly. When I said no for the 100th time I remember him saying “you can’t just do that, and not do this”. Meaning, I can’t just be naked (asking for it), and not fool around with him, even after explaining to the first people EVER, WHY I DO WHAT I DO.
After that night, I reconsidered what I was doing and questioned that maybe it’s too much, that people won’t understand, that naked bodies link too highly to sex, and maybe we really can “ask for it” without verbalising consent. My whole working life, I have men give me sneaky comments about my skirt, and asking me to come home with them. Sometimes what comes out of their mouths shocks me so much that I literally tell them to “fuck off”. I’ve had men grope me and kiss me on the hands and cheek while I’m working. I still have people on social media comment something immature about my bum, that I usually laugh off, because I can’t understand how a line at the bottom of my torso can be viewed so sexually through a picture. There’s compliments, and there’s harassment. My experiences may seem innocent or not enough to have effected my self esteem and life the way they have. But it had caused me fear and self disgust.
I have friends at work that have been harassed in horrific ways. I have friends that have been unknowingly drugged into having sex, and them not realising until nights after. I have friends that have been used and called horrendous things. I have friends who have been taken advantage of. I know of people that have been physically abused because they have said no. I also witness friends harassing women, and think nothing of it at all. You hear a lot of the time that women say no when they actually mean yes. I think it’s time to start considering that sometimes YES can mean NO, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. And it’s way past the time to consider that NO MEANS NO. No doesn’t mean no, until I manipulate and pressure them into saying yes.
Australia has one of the highest rates of sexual assault and abuse in the world. Statistically, 17% of women and 4% of men are sexually abused past the age of 15 (harassment offences not included). 93% of the offenders are male. Roughly 70% of sexual assault cases ARE NOT REPORTED.
I once had a friend tell me that he loves me for what I do, but when I took off my top to topless tan, he felt uncomfortable. At first I thought, shit, I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but then thought about it objectively… the only reason you would be uncomfortable about a pair of nipples, is because of your growth and wiring in a society that has only ever over sexualised the human body. We were not taught that it is just a body, that it is just right the way it is, that is it not there purely for sexual pleasure. If you only associate a body in its most natural and vunerable form as an object for sex, it’s time to questioning the deeper being inside of you, if you can find them.

Do not let a piece of sensitive skin drive your every motive. Our body is merely a vessel carrying our spirit through our journeys on this planet. Nothing more. Nothing less. What you do with it is your choice, but do not even subtly manipulate another’s without clear consent.

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